Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Back to the basics.

This month I stopped using my fertility monitor. I think I depend on it way too much and I am not looking at the whole picture. I treated the monitor reading as gospel. I have gone back to charting, I used to do this in the very beginning of our ttc adventure. From what my temps show it looks like our timing was perfect, crosses fingers. I also had really bad ovulation pain this month on both sides. Of course the next night I had a dream that I was pregnant and at my first ultrasound, the tech was like here is baby a and baby b, twins! I need to lay off spicy food before bed.

I have finally decided why ttc is so hard for me, you have no control.  I like to feel like I have control over certain things in my life and this is one thing I wish I had more control over.  I am not a control freak by any means but this is such a huge part of your life. You get to decide when you marry, buy a house, change careers, and retire. These are all pretty major decisions. With ttc you decide when you want to start, and hope that it happens when you want. The further along we go in our journey the less control I have, I need to just let go. I think I can, I think I can!

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